Forth From The Future
by Shwoo
Summary: Stuck for project ideas, Xavier, Fred and their cousins take a trip to the past.
1. Chapter 1

It was a beautiful morning, just like it had been the morning before, and the morning before that. Tomorrow the Tri-State Area was scheduled for a two-hour downpour, and normally Xavier would have been sitting extra comfortably to make up for it. Today, though, he had other things on his mind.

Uncle-Phineas-As-A-Kid had been right. There was more to summer than sitting under a digital tree all day. Driving around in fifth-dimensional bumper cars was a lot of fun too. Maybe even more. He'd even enjoyed building them, and he thought that Fred probably had too. It was hard to tell with Fred sometimes.

If only he could think of something to do today. Before he'd gone back to his own time, kid uncle Phineas had told them that he got his project ideas from things he wasn't happy with, like small portions at restaurants or people spelling his name wrong. And that was easy for someone from the past to say. But in the future, everything was fine the way it was.

"Hey Fred," said Xavier. "You wanna build something today?"

"Okay," said Fred. "What do you wanna build?"

"I dunno," Xavier replied. "What do you wanna build?" Fred was being Xavier, so he probably didn't have an idea. But maybe he did.

But all Fred said was "I dunno."

Xavier tried to think, but came up with nothing. It wasn't like math, where you had somewhere to start and a process to get to the end. Being creative was hard. "I bet kid uncle Phineas would have an idea," he said.

"Yeah," said Fred.

But he wasn't there. And normal Uncle Phineas was still in Switzerland. So that left... Xavier looked sideways at Fred. "Hey Fred. Can you be kid Uncle Phineas?" Fred always acted like someone else. Some kids found it weird, but it made sense to Xavier. Fred didn't have a himself. He'd said so a bunch of times.

Fred looked thoughtful for a second, then said "No. I didn't meet him long enough."

"Aw," said Xavier, and went back to trying to think.

Amanda stomped into the yard. She stomped most places. "Are you guys doing nothing again?"

"Uh..." said Xavier. They were sitting under the digital tree, but for some reason she didn't seem to count that as anything.

"Typical," said Amanda, stomping back indoors.

"We're thinking about doing something," Xavier called after her.

She didn't seem to hear.

He leaned back and sighed, then jerked forward as the tree flickered and he nearly fell into it.

"Maybe Alicia has kid Uncle Phineas powers," Fred suggested. "Maybe it's hereditary."

Xavier stood up. "Good idea! Let's go ask her."

Alicia was their cousin who lived across the street. She was more enthusiastic than anyone Xavier had ever met, and she seemed to really believe that the three of them, and their cousins Alton and Hal, were destined for something great, just because their parents were great. And Amanda and all of Alton and Hal's half siblings didn't count because they weren't the right age. It weirded Xavier out. Sometimes she rambled about it so much that Xavier had to make excuses so that he could leave.

But if it'd give them a project, talking to her was worth the risk.

They found Alicia in her backyard, trying to walk on her hands. She'd do a handstand, take one hand off the ground, and immediately fall.

"Hey, Alicia," said Xavier. "Neat skirt." He'd never seen one that didn't look unnaturally stiff when it turned upside.

Alicia grinned at him. "Thanks!" she said. "It's anti-gravity!"

"Cool," said Xavier. "Uh... We were wondering... A couple days ago, kid versions of your dad and uncle Ferb came to our house and told us all the fun things we could do over summer."

Alicia stared at them, with eyes so wide they almost touched. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Uh..." said Xavier.

"Uh..." said Fred.

"You met dad and uncle Ferb as kids! I always wanted to meet them! They were amazing!"

"Aren't they amazing now?" said Fred, sounding confused.

"They're _adults_!" said Alicia, looking at him like he, and by extension Xavier, was an idiot. "Adults are supposed to be amazing! That's what they're for! Besides, dad can't remember _everything_ he did."

Xavier still didn't really understand, but it would probably be pointless to inquire further. "Anyway, building things is fun, but me and Fred don't have any ideas. Do you..."

"Oh my gosh!" Alicia interrupted. "We should all go back in time and ask them for ideas!"

"Actually, I was thinking..." Xavier began.

Alicia got out her handheld Steale computer. "I'll call the others!"

She obviously meant Alton and Hal. This was another reason why Xavier didn't like talking to her very much. She never listened.

.

Hal Doofenshmirtz lay on his back, tapping at his hover keyboard. He'd been lying in the same position for so long that he was beginning to get a cramp in his leg, but he didn't care. He was always happiest when he used a computer. So logically, he needed to use a computer all the time, so that he'd be as happy as he could possibly be. One day he'd be grown up, and he wouldn't be able to computer as much anymore. He didn't want to waste the time he had.

The back door opened, and the smell of sweat and sunscreen wafted over to the couch Hal was lying on.

"Hi, Alton," he said without looking over.

"Hey," said Alton. He sounded a little out of breath. "What are you doing?"

Hal knew from experience that his brother didn't want a full explanation. "Writing a 4D graphics library so I can make programs with 4D graphics."

"Couldn't you just get one of those off the Internet?" said Alton.

He was going to ask him about his daily exercise. Hal knew he was. "But it wouldn't be mine. I'd spend weeks debugging every program I made with it." He hated his daily exercise. Alton did lots of exercise, enough for both of them. Hal didn't see why he had to as well.

"Uh..." said Alton. "Okay. Have you done your..."

"No!" said Hal, more loudly than he intended. "I mean, I'll do it later." He kept his eyes on the screen that his Evv was projecting.

He felt Alton sit down on the other side of the couch. "Come on, Hal, mom says you have to do it, or you'll get sick."

"I'm not sick," muttered Hal.

"Your legs are nearly as skinny as mine," said Alton, poking Hal's knee.

"That doesn't make me sick," said Hal, who didn't believe him. Alton had the skinniest legs out of anyone Hal had ever seen. It was because he had cerebral palsy and couldn't move them very well.

Hal's Evv informed him that he had a message, so he brought it up. It wasn't often that anybody wanted to message him.

It was from Alicia. It read "hal! me and xavier and fred are building a time machine! you should come too! so should alton!"

That sounded like fun. He'd never tried something like that before, but he was sure he could do it. He'd read a few articles about the mechanics of time travel. He thought he had a good grip on the basics.

So he replied "OK Ill ask Alton. :)" He usually ended his sentences with emoticons. People couldn't always tell what he meant even when he spoke out loud, so he thought it was a good idea not to take any chances.

He looked up at Alton. "Does building a time machine count as exercise?"

Alton looked at him with an expression that, as usual, Hal was unable to decipher. "Uh... I guess."

Hal turned off his Evv and stood up, wincing a bit. "Okay, then let's go!"

"What?"

.

Alicia paced back and forth through Xavier and Fred's yard. Hal had said that he and Alton were coming over more than ten minutes ago! Where were they?

"Can we start building yet?" said Xavier.

"Not until Alton and Hal get here!" said Alicia for like the billionth time. "You just keep doing whatever."

"I'm sitting under this digital tree," said Xavier.

"I'm sitting next to him!" said Fred.

Alicia wished they'd stop saying that. She could see that for herself.

"Hurry up, we're almost there!"

Alicia braced herself on the fence and jumped a few times. That sounded like either Alton or Hal. They insisted that they had different voices from each other, but Alicia couldn't hear it. They sounded the same to her.

She jumped as high as she could, and caught a brief glimpse of green hair. It was them! She couldn't tell who was who, but Alton was probably in front and Hal was probably trailing behind, panting. That was usually how it went.

Alicia jumped up and down, waving her arms frantically.

Alton came in through the gate. "Hey, Alicia. We see you. You can stop waving."

Alicia stopped waving. "I'm so glad you could come! We're making a time machine so we can go back in time and meet the kid versions of my dad and your dad!"

"Uh, cool," said Alton. He didn't sound very enthusiastic. But he rarely did. He was probably so excited on the inside that he couldn't think straight. "Why can't we take a teleport and talk to our dads now?"

"Because Xavier and Fred got to meet them, and I don't think it's fair that we can't meet them too!" said Alicia.

Hal finally came up to the fence. "What were they doing here?" he said, between gasps for air.

"They needed Fred's fwooshawizzledoo!" called Xavier.

"I was sitting on it!" called Fred.

"You gave them a tool from the future?" Alicia demanded. She couldn't believe these two. Didn't they watch TV? "Do you know what this means?"

"The past will have become infected with things with stupid names?" suggested Alton.

Alicia glared at him. "Shut up, Alton, this isn't funny! That thing could really mess up the past!" And it wasn't even that stupid of a name. She liked it.

"What if they come back to the present and give it back?" Hal suggested

"Mom told..." Xavier began.

"We can't leave this to chance!" said Alicia.

"Mom..." Xavier began again.

"Perry probably made their time machine disappear!" she continued. That was always happening in the past, or so she understood.

"Mom told them..." said Xavier.

"It's all up to us!"

Xavier waited for a second, then said "Mom told them not to travel to the future anymore. She said it was dangerous."

"Then it's clear!" said Alicia, and posed dramatically. "We go back in time and retrieve Fred's fwooshawizzledoo!"

It didn't have the effect she'd hoped.

"Okay," said Xavier.

"Okay," said Fred.

Alton still looked like he was going to laugh, but he said "Hal can help you with that. He knows how to program in the fourth dimension."

"That program was _Euclidean_!" said Hal indignantly. "You use _spacetime_ for time travel! They're totally different!"

"But you can do it, right?" said Alicia, suddenly worried. She had no idea where to start.

"Of course," Hal said, so Alicia gave him a hammer.

Hal immediately dropped it, nearly on his foot. "I'm gonna... draw up some blueprints."

.

They'd completed the general structure and most of the circuitry when Amanda came outside. "Now what are you not doing?" she demanded.

Xavier looked up. "Building a time machine."

"I can't believe you're just sitting there when you could be building a time machine!" said Amanda. "I'm telling mom!"

She went back inside.

"Your sister is weird," said Hal.


	2. Chapter 2

Candace took a bottle of nutrition pills off the shelf and inspected the label. She did prefer to eat real food whenever she could, but the pills were good for emergencies. After a second, she made up her mind and threw the bottle into her basket. If she was lucky, maybe this week Xavier would try making a sandwich first like she kept suggesting, and the pills would actually last.

Amanda ran up to her. "Mom! Xavier and Fred are doing nothing _again_!"

"You came all the way here to tell me that?" Candace asked. Amanda had been been at home the last time she'd checked, which had been five minutes ago.

"Of course I did, mom!" said Amanda. "Do you know what they could be building?"

"What?" said Candace, taking a few tins of kidney beans off the shelf.

Amanda folded her arms. "They could be building a time machine. Can you imagine if they built a time machine?"

Candace scanned the shelves for the only brand of dehydrated Sunday roast that Fred would eat, but it looked like they were all out. "Why a time machine?"

"_Because_, they said they weren't building one!" said Amanda. "They even had some kind of... buildy-thing in the backyard."

Candace smiled. She was a little worried about Amanda's inability to see the obvious, but it was good to hear that the boys were finally showing an interest in... anything. Provided Fred wasn't just going along with whatever Xavier wanted to do, as usual.

She'd always known they were late bloomers. She'd have to have a talk with them about the dangers of time travel before... before they...

_Can you imagine if they built a time machine?_

_Fine. But when I catch you up, you are so busted!_

"Uh-oh." Candace started towards the checkout. "Okay, time to go!"

"Already?" said Amanda. "What about icecream? We're almost out!"

Candace quickened her pace. "Later." No kids of hers were going to time travel without permission.

.

Finally, after more than an hour, Xavier fused the last oobahoobaleeba to the frame, and the time machine was complete. Alicia stood back and admired it. She particularly liked the egg shape. It was like some kind of metaphor for something.

"Before we go, we gotta make a solemn pact not to talk about the future." she announced. "We can't tell anyone who we are, or we might never be born!" That should have been obvious, but she was dealing with a couple of kids who'd handed something her dad had invented recently over to her dad from twenty years ago. There was no such thing as obvious.

Alton tugged at his hair. "This is like wearing a big green sign on your head that says 'I am the son of Ferb Fletcher. Please kidnap me and hold me hostage.'"

That did seem to happen a lot. Alicia wished her dad had as many enemies as Alton's.

"Past mom already knows who me and Fred are," Xavier put in.

"_I'm_ not gonna-" began Alicia.

"Your head is shaped like a triangle," Alton interrupted.

Alicia felt her nose and scalp. The corners weren't as sharp as her dad's, but the shape was still obvious. "L... lots of people have triangle shaped heads."

"They do?" said Xavier.

"Not really," said Alton.

Fine, whatever. "Okay, we tell them we're their kids from the future. But we can't tell them who they married!"

"Mom and dad never got married!" protested Hal.

"You know what I mean!" Alicia snapped. "We can't mess up the present. Okay?"

"Okay," said Xavier.

"Okay," said Fred.

Alton shrugged. "Sure."

"Fine," said Hal.

Alicia led the way into the time machine. It was completely bare on the inside except for a big purple button on the far wall. "You programmed the coordinates, right Hal?" It was controlled remotely, like most things, but she had no idea which frequency it used.

Hal looked offended. "Of course! You just press the button."

Alicia pressed the button.

.

Candace pulled into the driveway, hit the brakes so hard that the hovercar screeched, and raced outside. Just in time to see something flicker out of existence.

She growled, then took a few deep breaths. She needed to stay calm. This was not the time for a freakout. "Amanda?" she called. "Honey? Can you put the groceries away? I need to make a couple phone calls."

.

There was a lurch, and suddenly they were in the past. Alton wished that the time machine had windows. Cars made him sick enough, and they only travelled in three dimensions.

He had no doubt that they really were back in time. Hal was a genius, in some areas.

Alicia apparently disagreed. "We better be in the past, Hal."

Hal opened the door. "Relax!" He opened the door and looked outside, then pulled his head back in. "Told you."

Alton peered over his shoulder. They were in a very retro-looking backyard. Two boys their age were sitting under a tree and staring at them. One of them had green hair. The other had a triangular head.

The triangular headed boy said "Hmm... Are you a clone army from another dimension, here to learn how to have the best day ever?" His voice was much higher pitched than uncle Phineas's, but there was something familiar in his tone.

Hal and Alton looked at each other. That was a new one.

"We're just twins," said Alton eventually.

"Let me see!" said Alicia, from behind them. "Let me see!"

Hal jumped out of the doorway and Alton exited more carefully. Alicia, Xavier and Fred followed.

"Oh, I get it!" said probably Uncle Phineas. "You're time travellers! Hi, guys!" The last sentence was addressed to Xavier and Fred.

"Hi," said Xavier.

"Hi!" said Fred, bouncing on the soles of his feet.

Uncle Phineas and Alton's dad stood up. "So, if you're Candace's future kids, that means..." he looked at Hal, then Alton.

Their dad looked at Alicia.

He was so young. Alton guessed that he couldn't always have been strong and wise and capable and the best person in the entire world, but it was really hard to think of this boy as his father. He hadn't said a word, which wasn't unusual for him, and he still seemed like a completely different person.

"Are you... our future kids?" said uncle Phineas, with widened eyes.

"I think so," said Alton. "Is your name Phineas?"

Uncle Phineas' eyes lit up. "Yes. Yes it is."

"We're not telling you who you marry!" said Alicia quickly.

"We're gonna get _married_?" said Uncle Phineas. He looked a lot like Alicia had when she'd learned that there were pills for lactose intolerance. Alton didn't know how the daughter of a famous inventor had missed that.

"But..." began Hal.

Alton hit him on the leg with his crutch.

"Ow! Hey!"

"We come on an important mission!" said Alicia, after glaring at Hal and for some reason, Alton. "Tell them, Fred!"

"Huh?" said Fred, who'd been staring blankly into space. "Oh yeah. Uh..." He stood next to Alicia and copied the way she was standing. "We're on a quest to recover my fwooshawizzledoo!"

"Your what?" said Uncle Phineas.

"The tool he gave you that fuses wood to metal," said Xavier. "Alicia isn't very straight-forward."

Uncle Phineas looked confused. "But that's Fred."

"He's being Alicia," said Xavier with a shrug.

Uncle Phineas and Ferb - Alton couldn't think of him as "dad" - looked at each other.

"Oookay," said uncle Phineas. "We'd love to give it back, but we gave it to Baljeet to study."

"Oh no!" said Alicia and Fred at about the same time.

"Who's Baljeet?" said Alton.

"We can't let the professor see it!" said Alicia.

"I agree!" said Fred.

"Can you imagine what would happen to the present if the fwooshawizzledoo was invented twenty years early?"

"No," said Alton, who was getting sick of Alicia's overdramatics. And of nobody telling him who Baljeet was. Some people hadn't lived in Danville their entire lives, and didn't know every single one of their parents' childhood friends.

"I'll get it," said Xavier.

That was weird. Normally he never volunteered for anything. He did what adults asked him to, but he never seemed to do anything on his own.

Xavier took out his Steale and fiddled with it. "Uh... Uh... I think my GPS is broken..."

Hal took it from him and started pushing buttons. "Weird," he said. "It's not picking up anything. It's like it's out of range."

"It probably is," said uncle Phineas. "I don't think that kind of technology has been invented yet."

Hal slapped himself. "Oh yeah! We're in the past! I totally forgot!" He gave Xavier his computer back.

Xavier put it in his pocket. "How did people get around in the past, anyway?"

"Ferb's drawing you a map!" said uncle Phineas.

"Map...?" said Xavier, confused.

Alton looked over his dad's shoulder. He was drawing a very detailed picture, but he couldn't tell what it was supposed to be. It was full of straight lines and geometric shapes.

Ferb looked around and saw him staring.

"Hi," said Alton. It wasn't that he was shy. He wasn't. He just wasn't used to meeting kids who'd grow up to be his dad.

"Hi," said Ferb.

They looked at each other.

"Don't tell him who your mom is!" called Fred.

"Oh yeah, don't do that!" agreed Alicia.

Alton rolled his eyes.

There was a chirping chattering sound.

Uncle Phineas looked down and said "Oh, there you are, Perry!"

There, on the ground, was a very young looking platypus.

Hal sprinted over and picked him up. "Uncle Perry! You're so cute!"

"'Uncle' Perry?" said uncle Phineas.

"That's what grandpa calls him," said Hal, still holding uncle Perry. He stroked him a few times.

Alton considered hitting him again, but decided against it. "Don't tell them about grandpa!" He understood that uncle Perry's job had been a big secret for a long time. He didn't know what would happen if they revealed it ten years early, but it probably wouldn't be anything good.

"He must be their mom's dad," Uncle Phineas said to Ferb.

Ferb handed the drawing to Xavier.

Xavier ran his finger over it. "Are... What are all these lines?"

"Those?" said uncle Phineas, looking over his shoulder. "They're streets! See, that's our street, and that's Baljeet's street over there..."

Xavier stared at it. "I... think I get it..." He turned it around a few times, and started walking.

Uncle Phineas waved. "Good luck, Xavier!" Then he looked around. "Hey, where's Perry?"

Alton looked around too. Uncle Perry was gone again. He hadn't even seen Hal put him down.

Hal glanced at the house, said "I know where he went!" and ran inside.

"Don't go in there!" yelled Alton, following him. "It's someone else's house!" He didn't know what was wrong with him, sometimes.

Hal climbed the old-fashioned stairs two at a time. Oh, now he wanted to exercise. Typical. "I'm looking for Uncle Perry!" he called. "It'll be fun!"

Alton had a lot of trouble with stairs. He wasn't looking forward to climbing them. "Hal!" he called. "Come back!"

Of course, Hal ignored him and disappeared around the corner.

Alton groaned to himself and began making his way up the stairs.


	3. Chapter 3

As soon as Alton was out of sight, Hal leaned against a wall and breathed heavily. He didn't think he could take another step. Hopefully the stairs would slow down his brother down long enough for him to find Uncle Perry. Alton was such a wet blanket sometimes. All Hal wanted to do was see Uncle Perry on a real mission. What was wrong with that? And he was getting exercise. He didn't see what Alton was so upset about.

Someone screamed. "Who are you and what are you doing in my house?"

His aunt Candace had just exited one of the rooms. It was so weird seeing her like this. She practically looked like Amanda.

"Hi, aunt Candace," he said, still leaning against the wall.

Candace blinked a couple of times, then scrutinised him. "Are you like... Ferb's long-lost cousin or something?"

That was stupid. "No, I'm his son from the future!" He looked nothing like any of the uncle Beckhams, not even the ones with a sense of direction.

"You're from the _future_?" said Candace, staring at him. She chewed her lip. "That makes sense, I guess... But what are you doing here? Did something bad happen?"

Hal checked behind a picture frame. "We just wanted to hang out with dad and uncle Phineas back when they were our age."

"We?" Aunt Candace was beginning to use her scary voice. But she was still a kid and it was still the past, so there was probably no danger of Hal's mom appearing out of nowhere and grounding him for a decade.

"Me and Alton and Xavier and Fred and Alicia!" said Hal. "It was Alicia's idea!"

"Alicia," aunt Candace repeated.

Hal nodded, and poked at the carpet in case there were hidden doors underneath. "She's my cousin. She's outside."

Aunt Candace immediately left the room.

Hal heard her say "And what are you doing here?"

"Once I get up the stairs, killing Hal," responded Alton.

There was a short pause, and then aunt Candace said "So... I guess you're Alton?" Alton must have nodded, because she added "Uh... Do you need any help?"

"If you don't mind," said Alton. He was using his talking to adults voice, even though aunt Candace was still a teenager.

Hal didn't stick around to hear the rest.

.

Xavier walked down the street, staring at his map. He wrinkled his forehead. It seemed very inefficient compared to his GPS. How had people in the past ever got anywhere?

He still wasn't completely sure what he was doing, but he had a good sense of direction. As long as he remembered where the city was, he'd be okay.

With his aunt's help, Alton finally made it to the top of the stairs. "Thanks." He didn't want to say any more in case aunt Candace freaked out. She was already teetering on the edge. He could tell.

"Don't mention it," she replied. "Brothers, huh?"

Alton smiled at her, and set off to look for Hal. He didn't know what to think about her brothers comment. Was there something bad about her brothers? Had they... argued? Or... fought?

Alton began to wonder how much of his parents' childhood he'd really understood before today.

"Hal?" he called. "Come on Hal, you shouldn't be in here."

No answer. He hadn't really expected one.

Alton tried to put himself in Hal's head. Where would he go first, if he was Hal...? He wished Fred was there.

.

This was great. Alicia was actually hanging out with a younger version of her dad! And uncle Ferb was there, and Fred was still being her, so it was like double the awesome! Maybe even quadruple!

The sliding door slammed open and aunt Candace stormed outside. "Okay, what's going on out here?"

Alicia's dad turned around. "Hi, Candace! Guess what?"

"Our future kids are here to 'hang out'," said aunt Candace flatly.

"That's right!" Alicia's dad said.

"Aunt Candace!" said Alicia, waving.

"Hi mom!" said Fred, also waving.

"You!" said aunt Candace, looking at Alicia. "Are you... Alicia?"

Alicia nodded. Wow, aunt Candace already knew her name! She was really smart!

"And you're... Phineas's daughter?"

Alicia nodded again. "I'm not telling who mom is!"

"It could mess up the future!" Fred agreed.

"Did you hear that, Candace?" said Alicia's dad. "I'm gonna get married!"

Aunt Candace was less enthused. "I'm shocked." She turned back to Alicia. "Why did you come back in time, again?"

"Because we could!" said Alicia. "And because Xavier and Fred got to meet dad and uncle Ferb as kids and me and Alton and Hal didn't!"

Aunt Candace put a hand over her face. "Ugh. Why am I always the one who has to deal with this?"

"Uncle Phineas and Ferb told us to seize the day, so we did!" announced Fred.

"Which ones?" asked aunt Candace.

Fred pointed at Alicia's dad and uncle Ferb.

"That's right!" said Alicia's dad.

Alicia wished that she could have been there for that. Apparently there'd even been a song. She loved the songs.

"What did you guys do?" said aunt Candace to her brothers. "Did you mess up the future?"

Alicia's dad looked thoughtful. "I don't think so..."

"You'd never mess up the future, dad!" said Alicia, laughing. She couldn't tell if he was joking or if her dad just hadn't become perfect yet.

Aunt Candace put a hand over her face again. She peeked at Fred through her fingers and said, "Aren't you my son?"

"Yeah!" said Fred. Then he added "I'm Fred!"

"Why are you being so... Weren't you calmer last time?"

"That's 'cause I was being Xavier!" said Fred, like it was obvious. Because it was. He pointed at Alicia. "Now I'm being her."

"He's being me," agreed Alicia. It was kind of flattering.

"Being her?" aunt Candace repeated. "Why can't you just be yourself?"

"Now you sound like mom!" said Fred cheerfully.

She sounded like every adult ever. None of them seemed to get Fred, except for Alicia's parents, of course.

"Since I am your mom, or... future mom," said aunt Candace, "that means I can at least bust you, right?"

"Nope!" Alicia announced. She'd worked it all out in her head. "You're out of the same-person zone."

"Let me guess," said her dad. "Two, no, three years!"

"Two and a half!" Alicia corrected him. Wow. He really wasn't perfect yet.

"Fine," said aunt Candace, sounding fed up. She pointed at Fred. "But when I catch you up, you are so busted!"

She started to walk off, then came back. "By the way, I'm still telling mom."

"Okay!" said Alicia's dad. "Have fun, Candace!"

.

"I'm glad you guys could come on such short notice," Candace said.

"Anything for you, sis!" replied Phineas.

Candace smiled. She had the best brothers in the world.

If only she had the best kids in the world.

"Ferb had been meaning to try out his new matter transport design," added Phineas.

Ferb blinked a couple of times.

Candace wondered how he had the time to design new physics breaking devices with such a demanding day job. She could barely juggle having a career with raising her kids. Ferb was the most skilled person she'd ever known, and she'd known a lot of people.

Phineas picked up a blueprint off the ground. "I think these are the plans to the time machine... This is pretty good!"

Amanda came outside. "Mom, I can't- Oh, uncle Phineas and Ferb! I didn't know you were visiting!"

Phineas waved. "Hi, Amanda! We're just here to help Candace out."

"Wait a second," said Amanda, looking around in confusion. "Where are Xavier and Fred? They always sit under that stupid digital tree! Where are they?"

"They're back in time," said Phineas. He rubbed his chin. "I guess I should've mentioned to Alicia that she wasn't supposed to time travel..."

"They don't even know how to do that!" Amanda insisted. "They're hiding somewhere! I'll find them!"

She looked behind the digital tree.

"Doesn't hiding qualify as doing something?" said Candace, amused.

"No!" said Amanda. She looked over the fence.

"We should have another time machine ready in about ten minutes," said Phineas.

Ferb held up some fingers.

"Make that five minutes," Phineas corrected himself.

"Thanks a lot, guys," said Candace. "I owe you."

.

Hal knocked on a mirror in the bathroom, and it slid back to reveal a secret passageway.

"Yes!" he said, more loudly than he intended.

He heard the distinctive sound of his brother's footsteps, so he hurriedly tried to hoist himself onto the sink to reach the passage. Just as he finally managed it, the door flew open.

"Hal, get down from there!"

Hal jumped down the passage and onto the slide, hoping that the door would close automatically and Alton wouldn't be able to follow.

As he got further down, he became aware of a hum, and then a roar. And then he landed.

He was in a blue, steely room full of awesome secret agent stuff. The roaring seemed to be coming from a vehicle in the centre, which looked vaguely like a small jet. A very modern one, too. Weird to see it so far in the past.

Hal ducked behind the jet and peeked out. There, on the screen opposite, was a man, who seemed to be yelling. Hal couldn't make out anything he was saying, the jet was too loud. And in the seat in front of the screen, was... He was facing away, so Hal couldn't be sure, but it looked like his uncle Perry.

Yes! He'd always wanted to see him in action! The only time he ever got to see any secret agent in action was when his dad had to rescue him, and half the time Hal was blindfolded or tied to a table or something and couldn't get a good view. His dad would never let him come along on a mission. He said it was too dangerous.

Someone grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face them. It was Alton, and he didn't look happy.

Alton gestured angrily, so Hal pointed at uncle Perry. Alton glanced over, then glared at Hal. Then he looked back at uncle Perry with his mouth open.

Hal followed his gaze. Uncle Perry was coming over! Hal jumped into the jet and hid behind the front seat. If uncle Perry found him, he'd probably tell him it was too dangerous, just like his dad. But if he didn't find him, maybe he'd get to see something cool.

Alton struggled in after Hal, and was talking very fast and probably saying some bad words when uncle Perry hopped in, closed the top, and blasted off.


	4. Chapter 4

(I had to delete and reupload this chapter a few times because I don't think it got bumped to the top properly so that people could actually see it. Sorry if you have this story on alert!)

.

"We usually cast our own framework out of a titanium alloy," uncle Phineas was saying, while uncle Ferb demonstrated with a bucket and an icecube tray. "We tried ordering from a supplier, but we couldn't find one that delivered fast enough."

Alicia sat with her hands on her chin, drinking in every word he said. Fred was still being her, so he did too. He was learning a lot about his uncle's personality, but that was just a bonus. He was Alicia, and he hero worshipped uncle Phineas to an unhealthy extent.

"Hey Phineas," said a voice from beyond the fence. "Watcha doing?"

A girl with a pink bow in her hair entered the yard. It was a younger version of Fred's aunt Isabella!

"Hanging with our with our kids from the future," uncle Phineas replied.

"Wow, that's awesome!" said Isabella, looking from Fred to Alicia. To Alicia, she said "You must be o- You must be Phineas's daughter!"

Alicia scowled. "How can everyone tell?"

"I think it's the head," said uncle Phineas.

"It's the head!" said Fred, pointing. He didn't know how she couldn't see it. At the same time, he knew exactly how she couldn't see it, but as long as he was being her, he had to pretend otherwise, even to himself. Alicia wasn't very good at people.

Alicia felt her head self-consciously.

Isabella tore her eyes away from Alicia and asked Fred, "Didn't I see you in the future? You were with a girl and a boy..."

"She must mean Xavier and Amanda!" said Alicia.

Fred had guessed that. "They're my brother and sister!" he said. "Amanda didn't come with us, but Xavier did! Now he's getting my fwooshawizzledoo back from Baljeet!"

Uncle Phineas looked around. "He should have been back by now... I hope he didn't get lost."

"Xavier wouldn't get lost!" said Fred, who was pretty confident of this. "He's too careful! He won't go so far that he can't come back!"

"In that case, great!" said uncle Phineas. "I wonder where Alton and Hal went... Maybe Candace has seen them." To Isabella, he said "They're Ferb's kids. Twins!"

"Lucky Ferb," said aunt Isabella, not sounding completely serious. She kept looking at Alicia. "So, uh, what's your name?"

"Alicia!" said Alicia, smiling. She was smiling because she was talking to her mother as a little girl. Kid aunt Isabella was a little like Alicia, Fred thought, but she seemed to be better with people.

"Can I talk to you a second, Alicia?" said aunt Isabella. She glanced at Phineas. "In... private?"

"Only if Fred can come too!" said Alicia. "He's being me."

That was a test. Aunt Isabella was always telling Fred to just be himself, like every other adult did. Alicia had some kind of theory that adults, other than her dad of course, were naturally more uptight than kids. If aunt Isabella didn't object here, Alicia would be able to bring it up as proof for probably the rest of time.

Isabella didn't object. She just looked at him strangely. "Okay, I guess..."

"Okay!" said Alicia.

Fred and Alicia followed aunt Isabella around to the side of the house.

Once they were out of earshot, aunt Isabella closed her eyes, then burst out "Am I your mom?"

Alicia made an exaggerated shocked face. "I'm not allowed to say! I could hurt the entire space-time continuum! I could break time itself!"

"She could break every space-time continuum!" Fred put in, mimicking Alicia's expression.

Aunt Isabella put her hands on her hips. "That girl... Amanda called me "aunt Isabella". So tell me. Did Phineas marry me? Or does Ferb?"

"Uncle Ferb's not married," said Alicia, confused. Then she realised what she'd said, gasped and covered her mouth.

Aunt Isabella smirked a little. "That's all I wanted to know!" She skipped all the way back to uncle Phineas and Ferb.

"Whoa, Isabella!" uncle Phineas laughed. "What are you so happy about?"

"Nothing!" said Isabella, still smirking.

Fred hoped the future was still safe.

.

"Hey!" Alton was beginning to get hoarse. "Uncle Perry! Uncle Perry, back here!"

It was no use. The engine was too loud. Uncle Perry was never going to hear them. And the jet was so cramped that they could barely move. All they could do was wait out the journey.

Alton's foot began to go to sleep.

Finally, the plane crashed through something and came to a stop. Uncle Perry turned off the engine, opened the top, and was about to jump out of his seat when he caught site of Alton and Hal.

Hal waved. "Hi, Uncle Perry!"

Alton rolled his eyes. "This is so stupid. I can't believe how stupid you are." Maybe there were cleverer insults, but he didn't care. Hal really was being stupid.

Hal stuck his tongue out at him and laughed.

"Sorry about this, uncle Perry," said Alton. "I tried to stop him."

Uncle Perry just stared. Sometimes when he was shocked, he didn't move for a while. This seemed to be one of those times.

"What's taking so long...?" said someone. Then: "Huh?"

It was their grandpa. He looked really weird with hair.

"Grandpa!" said Hal, waving to him too. "Hi, grandpa!"

"Grandpa?" repeated their grandpa. He inspected them closely. "Uh... I don't remember ever making a mistaken-identinator..."

Hal laughed. "He's just the same!" he told Alton.

If he meant annoying, then yes, he was exactly the same. "We really are your grandkids," said Alton. "We're from the future." That was normal in the past, right? It was normal when Alton was from. "We wouldn't even be here if _someone_ hadn't run off after uncle Perry."

Their grandpa looked kind of weirded out. "Well... okay. Is it your mother or your father who lets you dye your hair like that? It... it's a sign of hooliganism! Perry the Platypus, are you paying attention to their hair?"

"But it's not..." began Hal.

Alton hit him with his crutch. Green hair was so rare that their grandpa was sure to figure it out if he'd ever seen their dad at all. "We'll just be leaving," he said.

"No... No, wait a second," said their grandpa thoughtfully. "Maybe... Stay a while. Have a seat." He indicated a couch. "There's some kind of stain on one of the cushions... Don't ask. Trust me, just don't ask."

Hal climbed out of the jet. Gingerly, Alton followed him. They were not supposed to be there. And it was easy to forget, but their grandpa had never been a pharmacist. He'd been an evil scientist. He'd never seemed remotely evil to Alton, even now, but he was.

Alton and Hal sat, carefully avoiding the big stain.

"Okay, just wait there a second..." said their grandpa, going into another room.

They waited, staring over at uncle Perry. Uncle Perry stared over at them.

"We should leave," said Alton eventually.

"What?" said Hal. "We can't leave! Grandpa's doing something!"

Exactly why Alton wanted to leave. "Grandpa's evil! Remember?"

"He's not evil to us!"

Alton groaned. "He doesn't know us, we're in the past! _Remember_?" Besides, their grandfather was a lot nicer to Hal than he'd ever been to Alton.

"Oh... Oh yeah," said Hal. "I keep forgetting. But come on, Alton, he's grandpa! Grandpa's cool."

Their grandpa returned with a remote control. "Okay, now I'm ready." He pressed a button, and a cage crashed down around the couch.

Alton rolled his eyes. "See?"

"Oh, this is great!" said their grandpa, coming up close to them. "Okay, first order of business: who's gonna marry my little girl?"

"Why would we tell you that?" said Alton.

"But..." said Hal.

Alton didn't bother to hit him this time. "Hal!"

"Sorry," muttered Hal. To his grandpa, he said. "We can't tell you. We can't tell anyone who they're gonna have kids with! It's against the laws of time travel!

"Oh, I wasn't gonna tell her," said their grandpa. "Just, you know, give him a friendly warning, maybe build a stay-away-from-my-daughterinator or two..."

Hal shook his head. Alton kept glaring, alternating between Hal and his grandpa. This was so, so stupid.

"Okay," said their grandpa. "You know what? Fine. I can live without knowing for a... for a little while. Let's save that one for when we've got to know each other better. I can think of other questions. I'm like a fountain of... questions. So, who's... Who's gonna win the big game tonight?"

"What big game?" said Hal.

"You know!" said their grandpa. "The game! Who's gonna win?"

Alton and Hal looked at each other.

"I don't even know what year this is," said Alton. It was... the past? If his dad was about his age in this time, and twenty years older than him normally, then...

Hal rummaged around in his pocket. "Uh..." He pulled out his Evv. "Just tell me the sport, grandpa! I'll look it up for you!

"He can't look it up," said Alton quickly. "He thinks he's connected to the future Internet, but he's not."

Hal laughed. "I can so! I got all sports stats ever saved on here!"

"Why?" said Alton. Hal had never showed the slightest interest in anything that couldn't be exclusively viewed on a screen.

Hal shrugged. "I added a couple exabytes to it last month, and the used space bar was like this-" He put his hands close together, "and the total space bar was like this!" He stretched his arms out as far as he could. "It looked lonely."

"Ooh!" said their grandpa. "Let me see!" He reached for the Evv.

A teal blur knocked him over.

"Ow- What- Perry the Platypus?"

Alton and Hal watched. They'd seen uncle Perry hit their grandpa before, usually after he'd done something petty, but never like this.

"Wow..." said Hal. "Uncle Perry is really good at beating people up."

"Nearly as good as dad," Alton agreed.

Alton's grandpa covered his face with his hands and said "Wait wait wait wait! Wait. At least let me trap you!"

The two of them looked over at Alton and Hal.

"Oh... oh right," said their grandpa. "I already used the trap on those little green hair kids." He took out a remote and pressed a button, removing the cage. "Go on, Perry the Platypus, get in there."

Uncle Perry looked at Alton and Hal, then shrugged and joined them on the couch.

Alton's grandpa laughed and the cage slammed down again, while uncle Perry looked at Alton and Hal, obviously questioning why they hadn't moved.

"We get kidnapped all the time," said Alton. "We don't care, right Hal?"

Hal nodded.

"Dad usually comes save... Hey, what was that for?"

Hal had kicked him on the shin. "Grandpa!" he said.

Their grandpa was staring at them with a wide grin on his face.

Alton felt like an idiot. He shouldn't have even mentioned the getting kidnapped part, let alone how their dad fit into it. He'd never be any good at this secret agent stuff, even discounting his legs.

Their grandpa waited for a few seconds, then scowled when he realised that Alton wasn't going to say anything more. "Fine, well, as long as Perry the Platypus is trapped, I might as well explain my plan. You see, when I was a little boy back in Gimmelschtump..."

Alton rolled his eyes again. He'd thought his grandfather told all those boring stories about his childhood because he was old, but this past version still had hair. He wasn't very old at all, for an adult.

Grandpa was still talking. "...And you know who got all the attention? All the love?"

It wasn't a real question, but Hal answered anyway. "Uncle Roger!"

Their grandpa looked taken aback. "Uh... yes, that's... that's right. How did you know that?"

"You told me!" said Hal. He was far more excited than he should have been. "Is this about the time you broke your leg?"

"Ye... Yes..." said their grandpa.

Hal and his encyclopaedic knowledge of grandpa's stories.

"Anyway, like he said, Perry the Platypus, one day I broke my leg. It was all twisted like..." he made a spiral motion with his hand "...but what did did my mother say? 'Not now, Heinz.' 'Can't you see I'm busy, Heinz.' 'Why can't you be more like your brother, Heinz.' And then she and Roger went out for lunch! I had to walk ten miles to the doctor on my own! On a broken leg!"

That did sound painful. Alton broken his ankle once, and it had really hurt for the hour it had taken to get it fixed. Even walking on crutches like normal had hurt too much. He'd ended up having to use his wheelchair.

His grandpa was still talking. Still. "Behold! The Parent-Ignorinator!"

Uncle Perry narrowed his eyes.

"Now every child in the Tri-State Area will feel my pain! You... you know, the pain of being ignored by their parents, not the pain of walking for ten miles on a broken leg. I'm not _that_ evil." He walked over to some giant ray gun that looked like every other giant ray gun Alton had ever seen, and pressed a button. "Oops! My finger slipped!"

He smirked.


	5. Chapter 5

Xavier wasn't lost. He knew exactly where the street he was walking down was, in relation to his mother's childhood home. He just didn't know where it was in relation to Baljeet's childhood home. The map was no help. The more he tried to figure out what all the lines and rectangles meant, the more confused he got.

"Look! There's one of them right over there!"

Xavier jumped. That was his mom! Did he really have permission to... Oh wait. It was okay, it wasn't really his mom. It was just her hyperactive teenage self, with an eerily young version of his grandma.

He turned and waved. "Hi, mom!"

"Huh?" said his mom, glancing in his direction. "Did you say something?" Then she turned to Xavier's grandma. "Mom! Mom, look! It's Jeremy and me's future son Xavier!"

Xavier gulped and inspected his hands to make sure he wasn't fading from existence. That was his dad's name! Someone must have told her! They should have brought a memory erasing device. Fred had one of those.

"Candace," began Xavier's grandma.

A marching band came down the street, drowning her out.

Xavier's mom started talking, but Xavier couldn't hear her either. Once the strains of some archaic marching song had faded, she started to talk again, just as a passing car leaned on its horn.

"Excuse me," said Xavier politely, when his ears had stopped ringing. "Do you know where Baljeet's house is?" He didn't want to mention that he was her grandson. They'd done enough damage already.

He didn't want to disappear.

His mom turned to him angrily and said something, but he couldn't hear because his tinnitus was having a flareup. It subsided to its normal level as quickly as it had risen, and he tried to ask her what she'd said. But when he took a breath to speak, he inhaled a bug and had a coughing fit instead.

"Are you okay?" said his grandma.

Xavier nodded, and said "My brother lent a tool to Baljeet, and we really need it back."

His grandma gave him directions while his mom opened and closed her mouth like she was trying to talk.

"Thanks... uh, Mrs Flynn-Fletcher," said Xavier. He was beginning to get the hang of this time travel stuff.

.

Alicia was having trouble hearing her dad over the whine of the drill, but that was okay. He was showing them his building techniques. He'd said he wasn't as good at it as uncle Ferb, but he was obviously just being modest. They were both really, really good at building stuff, even in the past. She almost wanted to take notes, and she hated taking notes.

Fred really was taking notes. He was being someone who didn't hate doing that as much as Alicia, but who was still very interested in what her dad was doing. She didn't know who. Sometimes, when Fred acted like a stranger, it was almost like he was acting like himself.

Hal leaned into the couch, completely focused on the game he was playing on his Evv. Uncle Perry's fight with his grandpa had got boring in record time.

He had to concentrate as hard as he could, because he was playing the game with his brain. Mind games were his favourite because he didn't even have to move his hands, but they were a bit hard to control. Mental input systems were still really new.

That gave him an idea. And having an idea messed up his focus and slid the little ball on the screen into a chasm. He paused and said "Hey Alton, do you think in twenty years our technology will look as outdated as the technology in the past?"

"Huh?" said Alton. He glanced over at him. "What are you... Are you playing a game?"

He sounded incredulous. Hal was incredulous that he was incredulous. "What? I'm bored!"

"Bored?" Alton repeated. "Did you see how uncle Perry escaped? It was..." He closed his eyes for a second, apparently lost for words. "It was so cool!"

Hal tried to remember. Uncle Perry wasn't in the cage with them anymore. So he must have escaped somehow. But he had no idea how. "He teleported?"

Alton snorted, and looked back out of the cage.

Whatever. It wasn't Hal's fault that his brother was so easily amused. He restarted the game - he had to use the keyboard for that - and took another shot at the Golden Socket.

There was an explosion, and Hal's grandpa yelled "Curse you, Perry the Platypus!"

Hal hunched his shoulders and renewed his focus on the game. He knew the end of a battle when he heard one. He'd have to get off the couch soon. He'd have to stop playing.

.

Xavier had finally worked it out. He'd finally found Baljeet's house. It was a big boring box, like all the other houses in the past. Nervously, he rang the doorbell.

The door was opened by a nervous-looking Indian boy who Xavier recognised from old photo albums. "Yes?"

"Are you Baljeet?" said Xavier. People still said things like that in the past, didn't they? He hoped they did.

The boy looked at him strangely. "Yes...?"

"Fred needs his fwooshawizzledoo back," said Xavier. He could just barely see into the house. There were lots of of straight lines on the inside too. It looked really retro.

"Uh... I think you have got the wrong Baljeet," said the boy slowly.

Xavier's shoulders sagged. "Aren't you... Aren't you uncle Phineas's friend?" He'd been so sure he'd got the right address.

"_Uncle_ Phineas?" said Baljeet, in a confused voice.

That was right. Uncle Phineas didn't have a nephew yet. He didn't even have a niece. "I'm from the future. We need the tool that fuses wood to metal back, or it could mess up time."

That seemed to be the right thing to say. "Oh! Why did you not say so?" Baljeet reached into his pocket and took out the fwooshawizzledoo. "Here!"

"Thanks," said Xavier. "Uh... You didn't show it to the... uh, to Buford, did you?" Yes, Buford. That was his real name. He thought.

"Buford?" repeated Baljeet. "Of course not!"

Xavier breathed a sigh of relief. The professor hadn't seen it. The future was safe, at least from anachronistic fwooshawizzledoos.

.

Hal was wedged so far into the corner of the jet that he couldn't see outside. All he could see was the flooring. It was plastic, with those little raised up grippy things plastic floors always had. He amused himself for a while by inspecting it.

Uncle Perry seemed really mad, for some reason. So did Alton. Neither of them were talking to Hal.

He'd just wanted to see a real mission...

"Sorry about all this," said Alton to uncle Perry. The engine was a lot quieter this time, but uncle Perry still must not have heard, because he didn't reply.

The jet slowed, and the plastic grippy floor retracted with a woosh, dropping Hal and Alton two feet to the sidewalk. As Hal sat there wondering when his muscles would let him stand up, the jet roared away into the sky.

As soon as it was gone, Xavier came down the street.

"Hi, guys," he said. "What are you doing here?"

Hal forgot that he was upset and said "We went on a mission with uncle Perry and Grandpa captured us in a cage, and uncle Perry beat him up and saved us!" It was a shame the beating up part had been so boring.

"Cool," said Xavier, with as much enthusiasm as he ever showed.

"Did you get the fw... The tool back?" Alton asked.

Xavier took the fwooshawizzledoo out of his pocket and grinned.

"Then we better get back," said Alton. He and Xavier began to walk off, strangely confidently.

Hal managed to stand, and ran to catch up. "Wait! How do you know the way?"

Alton rolled his eyes. "Dad's old house is just over there."

It was. The big, disintegrating pile of steel girders in the backyard was new, but it did have that big tree. He remembered the big tree.

They entered through the old-fashioned, manual gate, to see Alicia, Fred, Hal's dad and uncle Phineas were standing around the pile, with uncle Perry already lying at their feet. He was fast.

"Hey," said Alton. "What happened?"

"Well..." said uncle Phineas, "we were gonna build a futuristic undersea palace, but I guess Alicia couldn't hear us over the drill, and... it kinda fell apart."

"Um..." said Hal, but Alton hit him with a crutch before he could elaborate on his theories about the effects of the Parent-Ignorinator.

There was a loud noise, and something began materialising in the backyard. It was a big, egg-shaped thing. In fact, it looked a lot like...

"Whoa!" said uncle Phineas. "Twice in one day! What are the odds?"

The other time machine was completely stationary, yet it also seemed to be approaching from a huge distance. Hal knew why that was - he'd designed their time machine to do the same thing - but it was still fascinating to watch.

The other time machine settled on the lawn next to theirs, and the door opened, revealing... Oh no. It was their parents. Uncle Phineas was smiling, aunt Candace was frowning, and Hal's dad had the same blank expression he always had.

"Dad!" said Alton and Hal, almost in unison. Even if they were in trouble, and Hal thought they probably were, getting to see their dad was a big deal.

"Look, Ferb!" said the younger Uncle Phineas. "It's the future versions of _us_!"

Alicia ran up to the normal version of her dad and said "Dad, guess what? Guess what? We're back in time! Look!"

Normal uncle Phineas picked her up, laughing. "You sure are!"

Aunt Candace frowned even hard. "Phineas, we're not here to congratulate them."

"You're not?" said kid uncle Phineas. He frowned too.

Hal had known it. They weren't supposed to travel in time. But that wasn't fair. Nobody had ever told him not to. Besides, his mom wasn't there, and his dad couldn't punish him.

His dad could tell his mom, though.

"I told you I'd bust you," said normal aunt Candace, smiling a little.

Xavier looked confused. "You did?"

"You weren't there!" Alicia told him. "You were out looking for Baljeet!"

"And why were you looking for Baljeet?" said aunt Candace, in her slightly scary voice.

Xavier stared at the ground and mumbled for a few seconds, before coming up with "Last time they-" he indicated the younger uncle Phineas and Hal's dad "-came to the future, Fred gave them his fwooshawizzledoo and Alicia thinks it would mess up the future, so we came to get it back." He wrung his hands.

"It was my idea, aunt Candace!" declared Alicia.

She could safely take the blame for most things. She never got punished for doing something if she knew she wasn't supposed to do that. Her parents were fair.

"You're not really gonna punish them, are you?" kid uncle Phineas burst out. "It was an _awesome_ idea! I wish I'd thought of something like that! If I were you, I'd be proud to have a daughter like that!"

Normal uncle Phineas grinned, put Alicia down, and patted his younger self on the shoulder. "Good thing I am you! Of course I'm proud of Alicia. We're all proud of our kids!"

All of them? Did all of them include Hal's dad?

"Except when they mess up the timeline," said aunt Candace severely.

"And that's why we're so glad you came back here!" said normal uncle Phineas.

"Wait, what?" said aunt Candace.

Alton yawned. "I'm with aunt Candace. I only came with you guys so you wouldn't do something _really_ stupid. And you know what Hal did?"

Their dad blinked once.

"He..." began Alton. He looked at uncle Perry, who seemed to be sleeping. "He, uh... I can't tell you until we get home. But it was really, really stupid!"

"It wasn't stupid, it was fun," Hal protested. And boring in some places. But mostly fun.

"I get it!" said young Phineas suddenly, and Hal jumped. Exposing uncle Perry's secret now would mess up the timeline even more telling his grandpa about the sports scores. "You guys remember this!"

"That's right!" said normal uncle Phineas. "If our kids never went back, this would never have happened, and there'd be a time paradox!"

Alicia looked up at him. "What kind of time paradox?" she said anxiously.

Normal uncle Phineas stepped aside. "Ferb?"

Hal's dad said "It would cause a localised time ripple with focuses located at this spot, and the spot from which the time machine was launched. This ripple would be felt from here to approximately halfway to the galactic core, but the effects would be most severely felt within our solar system. Planets may rotate backwards, famous historical figures may appear at the corner store, and bathing may make you more smelly."

"Really?" said aunt Candace. "Huh. That doesn't sound so bad."

"There would also have been a one in three chance one of the focuses would become a supermassive black hole," added Hal's dad.

"And you didn't tell me this?"Aunt Candace demanded, her voice getting higher and higher.

Normal uncle Phineas shrugged. "We thought it was obvious."

"Does that mean we're not in trouble?" said Hal hopefully. Sometimes his mom took away his Evv.

"Ask your mother," said his dad.

Alton groaned.

Normal uncle Phineas smiled. "Don't worry, Alicia, you're not in trouble."

Alicia smiled too.

"You sure are," said aunt Candace, glaring at Xavier and Fred.

Xavier gulped, and Fred blinked and looked at the ground. Hal couldn't figure out who Fred was being. He wasn't talking. It would really help if he talked.

"But since you did save the world or something, I guess you're only grounded for a couple days," Candace added.

Xavier smiled in relief. He'd obviously expected something much worse.

Fred blinked again.

"Okay, time to go home!" normal uncle Phineas announced. "Say goodbye to us!"

They all said goodbye. Alton added "Bye uncle Perry."

Kid uncle Phineas waved. "Bye, guys! See you later!"

Normal uncle Phineas packed the kids time machine into a little cube, and they all got inside the one the parents had arrived in. It had a very roomy interior, much more than in the one the kids had made, and Hal wondered how his dad had done it.

Uncle Phineas pressed a button. A flash later, they were home.


End file.
